Friday, February 24, 2012

Show; Don't Tell.

A glare. Half-empty eyes, therefore half-empty souls, glaring black at me. What was actually behind the mask of inch-thick orange makeup was a natural breed of women- a natural hate felt toward others different. Their feelings toward me were blocked by their unclear conscience, while my conscience was cleared and therefore my stare more agonizing to feel pierce through. Their posse giggling and playing, whispering my name in each others ear. Mine did the same toward them, as they sneered and walked around us. Though the comments hurt, I'd never let them see what they've done to me; I'll never allow them satisfaction. My glare intensified as they grew closer to pass us, and only do I know now, that glare could never be strong enough.

5 comments:

  1. I like it :). Very specific and detailed, I almost feel like I was there.

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  2. this is very good sounds pretty accurate when it comes to girls haha :)

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  3. This was intense, and kept me on the edge wanting to know more :)

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  4. I am confused in your 2nd sentence. Should it be, therefore half-empty souls,? or, therefore a half-empty soul,?

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  5. Good detailed descriptions. I like the idea of female confidence and that nothing can bring that down. Maybe going through and checking sentences and how they are phrased, some at the beginning don't quit make sense. But great job :)

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